Calling all Barbarians...

This watch was like, made for Conan. The Barbarian, not O'Brien.  The rock-muscled drifter from Cimmeria, not the frighteningly hirsute-headed comedian from Television.
The brand if Fossil, which is apt, because wearing this watch will make you feel as if you could pound that irritating derfwad in the cubicle opposite yours into the ground where his remains will rot to bone and eventually be buried beneath millions of years of sediment only to be uncovered by future metal-detector nerds because the derfwad had a metal pin in his arm bone from that time in elementary school when he 'accidentally' got pushed out of the tire swing and broke his arm protecting his headgear from impact.  
The barbarian Fossil watch works fine, and the leather gauntlet and case are in great shape.  The crystal is scratched up, but not terribly bad.  At least, no more than you'd expect from a barbarian watch, right?  Also, I think is a ladies watch.  So, it's not for Conan after all.  It's for Conancy. 
You can have it for $10.00 plus $3.00 for getting it to you.

Leuer de Aqua Diver...Looks like a Shark attacked it.

This is a Leuer de Aqua Diver watch.  It says so right on the front and on the back, so there's no mistaking it.  It appears that the last time it was worn, a shark noshed on it while munching on the diver who was wearing it.  Somehow, it either came off or the shark pooped it out as indigestible (which brings up a question that I'm sure we've all pondered on many a sleepless nights;  namely, do fish poop?  I mean, I'm sure they do.  So, seeing as how the ocean is full of fish, and a whole lot of those fish are really big fish (and mammals, let's not forget the whales and porpusii) then why do we never see fish poo floating around in the ocean?  Seems like when a whale or great white shark 'reintroduced' it's dinner into the ocean's ecosystem, you'd know it.  They don't show that on the Discovery Channel.  Just something to think about next time you go wading in the ocean and suck in some salt water.  I'd bet you're getting a lot more than salt in that mouthful.) - now to recommence the original sentence - and it washed up on shore in Fiji or Capetown where it was sold to a wide-eyed tourist yokel who brought it back to the good ol' USA, and blah, blah, blah, now it's mine. 
I don't know a thing about the watch or the company except that I think the name is French. No other language could come up with a word like Leuer that makes your tongue feel like a buncha escargots are beating it with tiny truffles. 
Go ahead, look Leuer de Aqua up on Google or the search engine of your choice.  Find anything?  Me either.  If you did find any info...well, I'll be blunt;  I'm really not interested enough to want to hear about it. 
So, it's a dive watch.  It's black and silver.  It's made of stainless steel and rubber, I guess. It has four buttons. It works.  But it's been beat all to hell and back again. 
My instincts tell me it's from the 1970s, but they also told me that I could step on a bumblebee when barefoot and not get stung, so there you go.  Just as an aside, if you ever come to visit me, stay away from the big tree at the end of the driveway.  Apparently, I inadvertently assassinated a high-ranking bee when I stomped on it barefooted and the rest of the colony has had it out for me ever since.  No joking.  I tried to explain that it was the bee's fault for stupidly flying beneath my foot, and that he went out like a true Samurai, dealing me a very painful blow as his last act.  But, you know bees, they won't listen to anyone. 

As for the watch;  here are some pictures you can look at if you want to.  It is for sale.  If, for some reason all your own, you want it, you can make me an offer.  If it's exactly the right one, I'll sell it to you. 

Bonjour, mon cesoir prive eiffel frites au lait une jamais porquois, bleh? Merde.

Mens Wittnauer Classic

Classic looks, classic name, at a sweet price.  This is a Wittnauer watch for the true gentleman.  Wear it in the boardroom or on the town and other places, too.  Movement is in perfect condition and keeps good time.  Crystal is crystal clear.  Both the case and band show signs of wear, though these are not noticeable during normal wear.  Overall, this watch is in very good condition.  Though you might expect to pay six figures for a watch like this, I'm letting it go for four figures;  $35.00 plus shipping, which is three more dollars, which means it is $38.00 for everything.

ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!! University of Alabama Crimson Tide Watch

Exactly what the title says;  an Alabama Crimson Tide crimson and white and grey, and a little gold, wristwatch for fans of this legendary team.  It's sized for ladies or kids or small dudes or people with small wrists in general.  It says Swiss Quartz on the face, but really, I'm dubious as to the veracity of that claim. Maybe it is, but I think it's just pretending. Regardless, it is the correct colors for the Tide and it works and all that jazz.
For some reason, the elephant barreling out of the A has a piece of toilet paper stuck to it's lower trunk. That's not only embarrassing, it's gross.

There is a long standing mystery regarding Alabama's choice of the elephant as it's mascot.  Why did they pick a massive land mammal that lives on the other side of the world?  I know why.  Because it feels like an extra-obese, pregnant momma elephant did the Watusi on your head after you watch a couple of minutes of college football.  
Show your support and rub it in the faces of those annoying Auburn fans.  You'll be confident of knowing the exact time as you rain blows on the heads of the opposing team's fans.
Because I live in Alabama, I would really be for the Crimson Tide if I cared even one iota about football.
But I don't.  So I'm not.
What I do like about football season is that on game days the roads and stores are virtually empty because practically the entire state stays home to watch Bama play on television.  That's when I go out and snap up all the great deals that the football suckers miss.  Go Bama!
I also like stadium-made hot dogs and nachos and french fries and ice cold cokes, but because you can get them only at the stadium - and that means having to suffer through a football game - I never get to nosh on 'em. Somebody should open a stadium food drive-through.  I'd eat there.  If you open a restaurant like that, just remember it was my idea.  I want 50 percent.

$15.00 including shipping to contiguous U.S.

Perucci Milano Steel Wrist watch.

Bongiorno!  Ciao!  Spaghetti!  Mama Mia!  These are words that you might use when you get your hot little hands on this sweet timepiece.  Of course, the first three wouldn't make any sense but whatever. 
The case is made of rugged stainless steel with a flat finish, and the whole thing is in very good condition overall.  It works, too.  The  band is leather, and it's black.  I'll put a new band on it if you want.

On the back of the case, I at first thought the writing read WADER PLOOP, which I thought might be Dutch or Flemish or something, and it made me laugh so hard that coffee came out of my nose. Then I realized it read WATER PROOF, which is English and isn't nearly as funny. I wish I had read it correctly the first time because that coffee really hurt.
$20.00 and it's yours. Includes shipping to U.S., except for Hawaii and Alaska.  Everybody knows they're not really States, anyway.
I'm joking. Relax.

Fossil Ladies Gold and Green Watch

Gaze longingly at this golden watch with deep green accents by Fossil.  It's in superior condition, having been worn only briefly.  Works great and clings to your delicate wrist with the immense tensile strength of authentic cow-skin.  Wow.  Yours for $30.00 including shipping to contiguous U.S. states.

P.O.V. Purse Clock for your Purse

That's right.  A purse-shaped clock you can stuff in your purse-shaped purse.  The clock is made of gold and silver colored metal and has ten, that's right, ten, authentic faux Diamoniquanoids® right up front. The whole thing is in great shape with only limited signs of wear and purse storage.  It works, too.  You can have it for your very own for only $15.00 including shipping to the contiguous U.S. states.

RARE!!!! FORD MUSTANG WATCH!! Recherché!!! Thin on the Ground!!!! Scarce!!!!

RARE!!!! RARE!!!! RARE!!!!

Nah, just joking.
Before I start describing this exceptional timepiece, please allow me to vent my spleen regarding on of my pet peeves. The peeve is sellers labeling their stock as RARE.  Because of the proliferation of the internet to all parts of the world, almost nothing is rare any longer.  Your odd little watch isn't rare.  Probably, there are thousands more just like it available elsewhere.
If we took the word of internet sellers, we would be assured that virtually every product available is RARE.  Truly rare objects are, well, rare.  First Folios are rare.  Those funky mis-imprinted pennies are rare.   Wristwatches that have been to the moon are rare.  Items on Ebay labeled rare that actually are rare are rare.  Don't fall for it.
I think it's dishonest, or at the very least in an ethical grey area, to call something rare when it is, in fact, relatively abundant.  By calling it rare, the intent is to imbue it with undeserved prestige, thereby making it more desirable among collectors.  Do a quick search when you see a product labeled 'rare'. If you find a thousand more just like it, send the seller a picture of your extended middle finger and buy from a less shady seller.
Like me.
Now, take a look at this RARE, RARE, RARE Ford Mustang Watch!!!! RARE!!!

Now, we present for your inspection an officially licensed Ford Mustang Wristwatch.  Designed in white and an eye burning orange, it sports the ubiquitous Mustang Logo and Pony.  An additional complication reveals a trio of the ugliest model Mustangs Ford ever produced, and in orange, purple, and ugly green, to boot.  The three here displayed are the shame of the Mustang lineage and should be wiped from the memory of mankind.
That said, you'll love owning this gorgeous piece of Motoring history.
The watch is in excellent condition, and will be sooooooo good looking strapped to your wrist.  Especially considering the way cool strap with holes in it that adds a mucho macho air to the overall production.
Be the center of attention at the next Mustang Owners get together at the Sonic Drive-Thru (that's another peeve;  spelling words incorrectly and thinking it's okay to do it.  Krispy Kreme, Drive-Thru, U-Tote 'Em, Kwiki Mart, ToysRus, et cetera.  I think anyone who misspells words should be wipped.).
Oddly enough, this watch is so ugly it might actually be desirable to someone who loves ugly.  It's like one of those dogs with the flattened face that sounds like a sex pervert when it breathes.  You know, the ones that are so ugly they're cute. That's this watch.  It's the flat faced, sex pervert of watches.
There's only one available, so hurry, hurry, hurry to get your hands on this RARE ugly watch.

$24.83  and it's yours. That includes shipping to the contiguous, or touching, U.S. states.

The Two Faces of Kenneth Cole

That's right, you heard me.
Presented here for your perusal are two nice wristwatches by Kenneth Cole.  Nearly twins, you can call them Castor and Pollux, Chang and Eng, or even Flip and Flop for all I care.  The point is, they can be yours.

Both are in great shape, with the grey faced, brown strapped one on the right showing a little more evidence of well-loved use.  Both evince the tell-tale minuscule marking along the stainless steel trimmings and slight creasing of the leather straps.  Again, the white faced one is in slightly better condition than the other.  That being said, don't believe for a minute that the slight imperfections will detract from the enjoyment you'll enjoy enjoying when you wear one or both of these manly men's watches.

Wear one on each wrist, one on the right wrist and left ankle, one on your bicep and one stuck to your forehead with crazee glue;  you can do all this and more if you decide to buy both watches for the insanely low, low price of $40.00! That's an utterly, astonishingly, astoundingly sweet deal, because if you buy them individually they'll cost you $25.00 apiece!!!
So, spend only twenty bucks more for both and save ten dollars!!!!
Sweet.
Price includes shipping to contiguous U.S. states.

If you're hesitant, just check out the way I posed the watches crossing artfully at intersecting angles in one of the pictures and I'm sure that'll convice you to buy.

By the way, I can ship worldwide, but it'll cost a lot more and require more effort on my part, what with extra forms and writing less sloppily than usual and extra tape and all, so I'll probably grumble about it and be grouchy to my girlfriend later. If you want that on your conscience, by all means have me ship it to Abu Dhabi or Bora Bora Bora or Canada or some other far distant place where a bunch of foreigners live.

Piece.

Colors

K Cole White Dial $25.00 K Cole Grey Dial $25.00 Both Watches Save $10.00!!! $40.00

Anne Klein Classic Ladies Watch

Marvel, if you will, at this ladies wristwatch by über-designer Anne Klein.  Beautiful, large white face in a stainless steel case, this is the classic style for smooth, understated wristwatches.  Best of all, it's attached to a sweet red leather band made from the hide of the rare Rocky Mountain Fire-Cow, famous for it's bright red coloring and flamingly outrageous behavior.
Or, maybe not. 
Probably, it's made from a regular cow with a regular hide and laid back attitude.  But still, someone dyed it red.  Also, it's in terrific condition, having been worn once and once only.  In fact, the whole kit and kaboooooodle is in terrific condition, as close to mint as you can get without burning your eyes.
Every lady needs one of these beauties in their horological arsenal, to mix it up alongside those Rolices (that's the plural of Rolex, right?) and Omegas that are like, so passè.
$25.00 makes you a high-fashion trend setter, and it includes shipping to the contiguous U.S.
Oh, and it also buys the watch.