Calling all Barbarians...

This watch was like, made for Conan. The Barbarian, not O'Brien.  The rock-muscled drifter from Cimmeria, not the frighteningly hirsute-headed comedian from Television.
The brand if Fossil, which is apt, because wearing this watch will make you feel as if you could pound that irritating derfwad in the cubicle opposite yours into the ground where his remains will rot to bone and eventually be buried beneath millions of years of sediment only to be uncovered by future metal-detector nerds because the derfwad had a metal pin in his arm bone from that time in elementary school when he 'accidentally' got pushed out of the tire swing and broke his arm protecting his headgear from impact.  
The barbarian Fossil watch works fine, and the leather gauntlet and case are in great shape.  The crystal is scratched up, but not terribly bad.  At least, no more than you'd expect from a barbarian watch, right?  Also, I think is a ladies watch.  So, it's not for Conan after all.  It's for Conancy. 
You can have it for $10.00 plus $3.00 for getting it to you.

Leuer de Aqua Diver...Looks like a Shark attacked it.

This is a Leuer de Aqua Diver watch.  It says so right on the front and on the back, so there's no mistaking it.  It appears that the last time it was worn, a shark noshed on it while munching on the diver who was wearing it.  Somehow, it either came off or the shark pooped it out as indigestible (which brings up a question that I'm sure we've all pondered on many a sleepless nights;  namely, do fish poop?  I mean, I'm sure they do.  So, seeing as how the ocean is full of fish, and a whole lot of those fish are really big fish (and mammals, let's not forget the whales and porpusii) then why do we never see fish poo floating around in the ocean?  Seems like when a whale or great white shark 'reintroduced' it's dinner into the ocean's ecosystem, you'd know it.  They don't show that on the Discovery Channel.  Just something to think about next time you go wading in the ocean and suck in some salt water.  I'd bet you're getting a lot more than salt in that mouthful.) - now to recommence the original sentence - and it washed up on shore in Fiji or Capetown where it was sold to a wide-eyed tourist yokel who brought it back to the good ol' USA, and blah, blah, blah, now it's mine. 
I don't know a thing about the watch or the company except that I think the name is French. No other language could come up with a word like Leuer that makes your tongue feel like a buncha escargots are beating it with tiny truffles. 
Go ahead, look Leuer de Aqua up on Google or the search engine of your choice.  Find anything?  Me either.  If you did find any info...well, I'll be blunt;  I'm really not interested enough to want to hear about it. 
So, it's a dive watch.  It's black and silver.  It's made of stainless steel and rubber, I guess. It has four buttons. It works.  But it's been beat all to hell and back again. 
My instincts tell me it's from the 1970s, but they also told me that I could step on a bumblebee when barefoot and not get stung, so there you go.  Just as an aside, if you ever come to visit me, stay away from the big tree at the end of the driveway.  Apparently, I inadvertently assassinated a high-ranking bee when I stomped on it barefooted and the rest of the colony has had it out for me ever since.  No joking.  I tried to explain that it was the bee's fault for stupidly flying beneath my foot, and that he went out like a true Samurai, dealing me a very painful blow as his last act.  But, you know bees, they won't listen to anyone. 

As for the watch;  here are some pictures you can look at if you want to.  It is for sale.  If, for some reason all your own, you want it, you can make me an offer.  If it's exactly the right one, I'll sell it to you. 

Bonjour, mon cesoir prive eiffel frites au lait une jamais porquois, bleh? Merde.

Mens Wittnauer Classic

Classic looks, classic name, at a sweet price.  This is a Wittnauer watch for the true gentleman.  Wear it in the boardroom or on the town and other places, too.  Movement is in perfect condition and keeps good time.  Crystal is crystal clear.  Both the case and band show signs of wear, though these are not noticeable during normal wear.  Overall, this watch is in very good condition.  Though you might expect to pay six figures for a watch like this, I'm letting it go for four figures;  $35.00 plus shipping, which is three more dollars, which means it is $38.00 for everything.

ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!! University of Alabama Crimson Tide Watch

Exactly what the title says;  an Alabama Crimson Tide crimson and white and grey, and a little gold, wristwatch for fans of this legendary team.  It's sized for ladies or kids or small dudes or people with small wrists in general.  It says Swiss Quartz on the face, but really, I'm dubious as to the veracity of that claim. Maybe it is, but I think it's just pretending. Regardless, it is the correct colors for the Tide and it works and all that jazz.
For some reason, the elephant barreling out of the A has a piece of toilet paper stuck to it's lower trunk. That's not only embarrassing, it's gross.

There is a long standing mystery regarding Alabama's choice of the elephant as it's mascot.  Why did they pick a massive land mammal that lives on the other side of the world?  I know why.  Because it feels like an extra-obese, pregnant momma elephant did the Watusi on your head after you watch a couple of minutes of college football.  
Show your support and rub it in the faces of those annoying Auburn fans.  You'll be confident of knowing the exact time as you rain blows on the heads of the opposing team's fans.
Because I live in Alabama, I would really be for the Crimson Tide if I cared even one iota about football.
But I don't.  So I'm not.
What I do like about football season is that on game days the roads and stores are virtually empty because practically the entire state stays home to watch Bama play on television.  That's when I go out and snap up all the great deals that the football suckers miss.  Go Bama!
I also like stadium-made hot dogs and nachos and french fries and ice cold cokes, but because you can get them only at the stadium - and that means having to suffer through a football game - I never get to nosh on 'em. Somebody should open a stadium food drive-through.  I'd eat there.  If you open a restaurant like that, just remember it was my idea.  I want 50 percent.

$15.00 including shipping to contiguous U.S.

Perucci Milano Steel Wrist watch.

Bongiorno!  Ciao!  Spaghetti!  Mama Mia!  These are words that you might use when you get your hot little hands on this sweet timepiece.  Of course, the first three wouldn't make any sense but whatever. 
The case is made of rugged stainless steel with a flat finish, and the whole thing is in very good condition overall.  It works, too.  The  band is leather, and it's black.  I'll put a new band on it if you want.

On the back of the case, I at first thought the writing read WADER PLOOP, which I thought might be Dutch or Flemish or something, and it made me laugh so hard that coffee came out of my nose. Then I realized it read WATER PROOF, which is English and isn't nearly as funny. I wish I had read it correctly the first time because that coffee really hurt.
$20.00 and it's yours. Includes shipping to U.S., except for Hawaii and Alaska.  Everybody knows they're not really States, anyway.
I'm joking. Relax.

Fossil Ladies Gold and Green Watch

Gaze longingly at this golden watch with deep green accents by Fossil.  It's in superior condition, having been worn only briefly.  Works great and clings to your delicate wrist with the immense tensile strength of authentic cow-skin.  Wow.  Yours for $30.00 including shipping to contiguous U.S. states.

P.O.V. Purse Clock for your Purse

That's right.  A purse-shaped clock you can stuff in your purse-shaped purse.  The clock is made of gold and silver colored metal and has ten, that's right, ten, authentic faux Diamoniquanoids® right up front. The whole thing is in great shape with only limited signs of wear and purse storage.  It works, too.  You can have it for your very own for only $15.00 including shipping to the contiguous U.S. states.